9/10/2023 0 Comments I dont want to be![]() ![]() So we figure “we have to respect that in other people”. have a measure of annoyance for interfering in our space. Often we treat people as we wish to be treated… we KNOW our sensitivities. its something im trying to work on within myself. sry im tired, i wrote that kind of funny. yet at some point soon, when i ask for a “big favor” the other person will become less willing to do it. “hey honey, take out the trash”, but i think depending on the way you ask actually has a lot to do with the way the person will respond… ive even seen people more than happily do 100s of things for people that are even kind of using them, taking advantage, and/or even being a lazy ass say asking the other person to pass them something that is even within a further reach away from the other pwerson than themselves. so after years i realized i do this, while other people kind of just frankly ask. like “can you do me a big favor?” or like maybe make a wrinkly face, when im asking them to do something they should actually be doing anyway. because ive noticed (about myself) that for example i always ask boyfriends for favors in such a pleading, sorry to bother you way. The person who sounds annoyed might make you feel like youre bothering them… but ive noticed it also may be the other way around as well. Hey, you know i think that goes vice versa. Photo credit: Lili Vieira de Carvalho via photopin cc Listen to the podcast version of this post. You may think never saying No makes you a generous, open-hearted person, but it can actually make your life worse! Great book.Īre you a people pleaser? Do you say “I don’t want to bother you” a lot? Leave a comment below! It helps you realize that you can’t ever make everyone else happy, plus how to create clearer boundaries. □Ī great book to help with this issue is The Disease to Please by Dr. If you do have a hard time saying “no”, then you may become frustrated, burnt-out, or overwhelmed when you take on too many responsibilities, or hold in resentment. You’re covered! Are you a people pleaser? If you always say yes, they can’t say that you never work late, that you aren’t generous, that you never babysit, etcetera. “Sure, I can work late tonight.” “Yeah, you can crash at my place.” “I can babysit, no problem.” “Sure, I can lend you more money.”Īnd why do people have a hard time saying “no”? Because they don’t want the other person to say they weren’t helpful. “It’s no problem!” is something they’d often say. You know why I do that? Why I try so hard not to inconvenience people? It’s to prevent them from feeling like I did inconvenience them. I’m so afraid that people will think I am annoying, I go out of my way to make sure they don’t feel that way.Ī people pleaser can also have a hard time saying no. ![]() I am most concerned with not bothering people when I see them as being more important, more experienced, smarter, wealthier, or busier than I am. I always thought it was a lack of self-esteem. ![]() I am constantly worrying about annoying or inconveniencing other people. Holy cow, I feel like my whole life has been spent saying things like that. Do you say things like this a lot? “I don’t want to be a bother…” “Let’s do whatever is easier for you.” ![]()
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